Most people have a rather strong opinion about this. Do you believe that it is ever OK to quit? Or were you taught growing up that “winners never quit” and that to do so is a sign of weakness? As you read this right now, you can probably recall a time in your past when you were faced with such a decision. What did you do and how did it work out? It may even be that you are faced with such a decision in your life right now.
Many people struggle over the question of quitting or moving forward at various points in their lives in issues ranging from relationships, career choices, hobbies, to membership in religious organizations, social clubs, etc. Often times making the decision to quit or continue on can become so clouded with emotion and prior conditioning that we fail to objectively consider the choice based upon our goals, priorities, and values as they currently exist. Of course, to do so you need to be aware of what your goals, priorities, and values currently are to be able to consider them, and most people don’t normally keep track of them over time to notice weather they have changed along with them as they have evolved. Pursuing outdated goals or trying to live to outdated values that seem incongruent can be a rather pointless and frustrating endeavor. Yet turning your back on a worthwhile pursuit because you are weary, worn out, frustrated, or temporarily defeated is equally unlikely to make you happy. Indeed, giving up on something and later realizing how close you were to success can be quite demoralizing and leave you kicking yourself for having done so.
So, the next time you are faced with a decision to quit or push on, here are some helpful questions to consider. They are by no means exhaustive, yet thinking about them can start the process of objectively considering weather on not to keep on doing what you’re doing.
Questions to ask Yourself:
1. Is my current course of action likely to bring me the outcome I desire, regardless of weather the journey is currently pleasant or enjoyable?
2. Am I still interested in obtaining the original outcome?
3. Should I modify my desired end result in any way?
2. Is it the only the end result I’m seeking, or is the journey equally important?
4. Am I frustrated and seeking to quit only because I like things easy and they’ve now become difficult?
5. Do I need to consider another approach to achieve the same outcome?
6. How have my values changed since I undertook this objective or made this commitment?
7. Am I just being lazy?
8. Is my desire to (quit/continue on) primarily to make someone else happy?
9. Whose idea was this anyway? Is it my goal I’m pursuing?
Questions not to ask Yourself:
1. What will my (friends, parents, neighbors, etc) think if I quit now?
2. What will people think of me if I try my best but still end up failing?
3. Why can’t I just be more like ______?
When You Need to Stick it Out:
If you’ve determined that the outcome in mind is your own, is consistent with your values, and you are pursuing it because you genuinely desire the end result you are most likely on the right track. You may currently lack sufficient direction and have discovered that there are resources you need to acquire – you might even doubt yourself a little bit. But because this is something you really want, giving up is most likely going to make you feel much worse. There’s nothing wrong with stepping back and reevaluating, then making a concentrated effort when you’ve regrouped and are ready to go full speed again. If fact, it can serve to invigorate you and send you off again with fresh motivation and perspective.
When to Consider Moving On:
There can be a lot of guilt associated with giving up on something that you put a lot of time and effort into. Society may look down on you. People may talk about you. You may even put yourself down for being a quitter. If however, you’ve identified that the outcome you’ve been pursuing doesn’t mesh with your values, is not taking you where you want to go, or worse yet is taking you further away, then it may be time to consider quitting and moving on. Yes, I said the “q” word. Sometimes it is OK to quit.
You may find that there are crossroads in your life when you begin to realize that your values have changed, your priorities have changed, and you are not the person you once were 5 or 10 years ago. You have evolved. If your goals and pursuits have not taken that same journey with you, it may be time to put them aside for ones that better serve you.
If you find this site helpful, please leave a donation for Ken and enjoy the spirit of giving too.