I saw an interesting show on PBS last night. The title was “Prescription” by Deepak Chopra, and his topic of discussion was happiness. I found it highly interesting and want to share some of the things he discussed.
Deepak starts with framing the traditional method of thinking that is so ineffective and yet so highly integrated in Western society; the mindset of conditional happiness. “I’ll be happy when” and “I’ll be happy if” are the two most common ways that we deceive ourselves.
How often have we said things to ourselves like I’ll be happy “when I get that job”, happy “when I meet that special person”, or I’ll be happy “when I change careers”? Sometimes we even tell ourselves things like I’ll be happy “if I am healthy”, or “if I have better relationships” etc.
Deepak makes the simple yet profound suggestion that we turn this relationship between conditions and happiness around as if looking at the equation in a mirror. Starting from a position of happiness as your default state is much more likely to provide you with the conditions you are seeking, as opposed to waiting upon those conditions to occur so that you can choose to be happy. If you choose happiness first, you are more likely to be healthier, more likely to have better relationships, and more likely to have a successful career.
He then goes on to explain that there are 3 things that determine our overall happiness:
Our Biological Set Point
This is the default way that we perceive the world around us. Deepak explains that there is some basis in genetics here, but that we can change our “set point” via meditation or cognitive therapy. Neuro-Linguisitc Programming (NLP) is also very helpful in this area, specifically within the context of reframing negative and/or limiting beliefs, and helping one to explore and potentially change one of their maps of reality.
Our Life Situation
The studies he cites indicate that this is a relatively minor factor in a person’s overall happiness, saying that only about “8-15%” of our overall happiness level is dependant on this. People who dispose themselves to the notion of being happy will be happy, while those who place conditions upon happiness will typically always have some sort of outstanding condition that remains unfulfilled.
Our Voluntary Actions
The choices we make are the biggest determinants in our overall level of happiness. Broken down within our choices are the ones that give us pleasure and the ones that provide us with a sense of fulfillment.
Pleasurable choices are things we choose to do that cause us to experience feelings of happiness, such as eating food, listening to music, having sex, drinking wine, etc. All of these are rather self explanatory.
Fulfillment choices are the things we choose to do that provide us with a sense of accomplishment and contribution to the world around us. They encompass how we express our creativity in ways that benefit and bring happiness to ourselves and society as a whole. Deepak notes that as spiritual beings (regardless or religion), the best way to experience fulfillment is by making choices and doing things that make others happy.
He then goes on to explain that happiness and enlightenment are not one and the same. You can experience happiness without enlightenment, you will probably experience some level of unhappiness and frustration during your search for enlightenment (should you choose that path), and that you experience the greatest level of happiness upon attaining an enlightened state. I will be writing more about this in subsequent postings.
For those of you who have TIVO or a DVR and haven’t seen this program, I definitely think it’s worth checking out.
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