Welcome to part 2 of my review of NLP Presuppositions. If you missed part one, click here.
There is no failure, only feedback
All responses we get from our actions have value by providing us with the opportunity to learn from our experiences and use that feedback to make adjustments. The NLP concept of T.O.T.E. is like a mental software program that works to create successful outcomes based upon having fixed goals and variable means of achieving their outcomes. The acronym T.O.T.E. stands for (Test Operate Test Exit).
Once we decide upon an outcome, we set up a Test to determine how we will know when the outcome has been achieved. We then Operate within our environment by taking action to achieve the result, after which will again test to see if our outcome has been achieved. This takes place within a continuous loop until the Test is successful and we Exit the program having achieved our desired outcome. As long as the end goal remains unchanged, there is no failure absent giving up. Every experience along the journey is simply an opportunity to learn and come closer to achieving success as we have chosen to define it.
People have all the resources necessary to make any desired change
This one can be hard to believe but still quite useful. An effective way of understanding this is that while everyone is considered to have all the available resources to achieve their outcomes, those resources might not currently be available in the context where they are needed. Consider a person who is able to function effectively at work with tact and diplomacy despite multiple conflicting demands and time constraints from bosses and co-workers, yet who looses their temper quickly and becomes impatient with their spouse or children at home. The appropriate behavioral resources exist but are not being applied in all areas that require it. A useful NLP strategy for bringing resources into the context where they are needed is a technique known as mapping across.
If one person can do something, other people can learn to do it
A core component of NLP is the concept of modeling. It is the belief that if one person can do something, it’s possible to study their techniques, attitudes, and kinesiology to develop a method to transfer that skill set to others. Of course physical limitations will come into play and this concept may not be true 100% of the time, but it provides a more useful structure for effecting change than assuming the contrary and has enabled many ordinary people to achieve spectacular results.
You cannot not communicate
Remember the old study that says that only about 7% of communication is the words we choose? If another human being can hear or see you, even if you are sitting still saying nothing you are still communicating. Posture, body language, tonality, facial expressions, breathing patterns, eye movements, and changes in skin tone are all ways in which we communicate our internal states and thus all are useful in understanding and relating to others.
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